Yes we all like to be in Control, but be realistic. Control what you can, be the focus of everyone’s attention, but don’t be a control freak.
Think, feel and behave as if you are in control of yourself and other people/events and you will be.
Don’t blame luck, other people or external forces for your lack of control. Live in the moment and enjoy the sense of control this brings.
Dont lose control and drift, take responsibility for your actions and remain calm and controlled.
Whenever possible, remember, too much control stunts personal (and other people’s) development.
It is a fine line between achievement and failure.
Multitasking is fine provided you do not spread yourself too thinly.
Having many tasks in progress and not completing any of them will lead to frustration.
Make sure you continually review what you are doing and that they are achievable within the time frame you have set yourself.
Learn to control your inner thoughts and reflect on why you are anxious.
Anxiety is contagious and therefore be on your guard you do not catch this from other people, or indeed transmit this yourself. An anxious mind cannot make good choices.
Bouncing back from personal criticism or misfortune is easier if you fundamentally believe you are correct. If this is not the case you have made a mistake and should admit it, best of all to yourself, then bounce back in a different direction.
For Chaos read ‘Unplanned Change’. Chaos will appear out of nowhere and without a structure and being able to work in many dimensions to achieve sense out of chaos is essential for sanity.
Complex chaotic situations do not necessarily mean complex solutions. Stick to your simple principles and values, apply them with equal measure and chaos will be managed – at least until the next chaotic situation comes along.
If you cannot predict, prepare..
Yep, we all come across them from time to time – here are some ideas:
Do nothing, wait until they are receptive to your thinking.
Change your perception – ask yourself why are they saying/doing what they are doing. Dismiss the notion that they are bonkers and try to see it their way.
Change the context – what is it that has triggered their dis-ease? Try reframing the context and see if their behaviour now makes sense.
Motivate them to change their behaviour. State the obvious – if you carry on like this, then X (bad) will happen; if you approach the matter differently the Y (good) will happen.
Above all, concentrate on the difficult behaviour, not the person. Try and understand why their behaviour is ‘difficult’.
To ensure the rest of the world remains with you, stop doing things at the same pace you are starting others. Too many activities at once will confuse people and you will become frustrated. Remember the convoy analogy: you can only go as fast as the slowest (but vital) member of the team.
Show people where you want to go and let them decide how to get there. Don’t over guide and dictate, allow people the freedom to express themselves in ways you cannot imagine and be receptive to different ways of acheiving the same ends
Some people hate to plan for fear of failure.
If you have a plan you know where you are going. A bad plan is better than nothing as it will lead you to a better plan.
If you have a plan, you have a benchmark for your actions. Constant review and feedback will ensure you control events and measure against pre determined factors.
You may even decide to change a good plan into an even better one,
The worst plan is no plan at all, you will just drift.
management qualities-psychologists views
high tolerance of frustration
continually self question
understand rules of engagement in each circumstance
gracious in victory and defeat
after Argyris -1953