We all come across this from time to time. Sometimes it is intentional, sometimes we are forced into it. We all have our preferred ways of dealing with it.
The best analysis I have found is the Thomas Kilman analysis. They establish 5 methods of dealing with Conflict as follows competing, getting what you want at all costs.
Collaborating, understanding both sides and reaching a mutually beneficial conclusion.
Compromising, applying a quick fix, but maybe leaving both sides in a lest preferred position.
Avoidance, working round the issue.
Accommodating, giving in for a quiet life.
One, or a mixture of the above, will work dependant on circumstances. Be prepared for conflict and be prepared to adopt or adapt accordingly.
If you have been brought up as Christian, you will be familiar with this principle. The usual interpretation of the phrase is to treat each other as you would like to be treated yourself.
However, consider this, the phrase goes beyond this slightly egocentric view. What it is actually saying is that you should treat other people as they would like to be treated; i.e in a way that pleases them. That way:
a) they will understand you better
b) they may even reciprocate this principle and you will understand them better
Don’t forget, not everyone has the same world view as yourself and therefore by seeing the world through other people’s eyes and having a flexible approach in treating people means you can get your message across much easier.
In a business culture there are premiums on innovation and creativity.
Sometimes unusual problems require unusual answers, they are not always solved by pre determined processes.
Learn to control your inner thoughts and reflect on why you are anxious.
Anxiety is contagious and therefore be on your guard you do not catch this from other people, or indeed transmit this yourself. An anxious mind cannot make good choices.
No reputation is built on the basis of a single experience or the result of a solitary factor.
Reputation is a culmination of all the things you are good at done consistently well over an extended period of time. Once you have established what this is and what these things are then protect them and cherish them as valuable assets.
If your Personal or Corporate Mission statement is not something like “Increase the net worth of the entire universe”, then ask yourself why.
If it passes the test of “doing exactly what it says on the tin” then equally this is good.
Somewhere between the two is probably meaningless.
How do you decide?
Are you impulsive and make decisions based on intuitive thinking and reside at the emotional end of the spectrum, or are you hesitant, like to explore all possible angles and get everyone’s opinions and then try the decision out on a sample or trial basis?
Both types of decision making are fine. However, take both to their extremes and the first type behaviour may lead to inconsistent thinking as your emotions get the better of you. The latter may just lead to procrastination and indecision.
One thing is for sure, we live in a changing world. The middle ground on this is that; on the one hand there is no time to procrastinate; on the other hand, emotions do get the better of us.
The solution to decision making is to make them based on a clear understanding of what you are trying to acheive in the limited time available – make that decision and review it.
If it turns out to be a bad decision, make another decision and rectify the outcome.
The mindset on all this is that they are your decisions and you live with the consequences. Constant review and feedback from others are key to understanding the quality of the decision.
Doing something for others first is more likely to generate returns, but don’t expect instantaneous feedback. Rewards have a distinct habit of being delayed and the more you expect them, the more disappointed you will become if they don’t appear as you expected.
Equally when presenting a new idea, explain what is in it for other people, not just yourself.
A regulator is that person who is able to tell you what you don’t want to hear. Having a regulator around is a reality check and a balanced look at the way you are behaving.
Recognise someone in your life who can fulfil this role and keep you on the straight and narrow.
see them as stepping stones